Gone
by TheVideoGamer
Summary: Usagi doesn't come home one night. Misaki's first thought is that his unrelenting bitterness toward his lover is somehow responsible... but is that really it?
1. Chapter 1

"Get _off_ of me!" A brunette boy pushed his lover away. "If you want any dinner, I suggest that you let me make it!"

The older one let himself be pushed back, brushing a lock of silver-colored hair from his face. "You haven't let me touch you all week. When is this going to let up, Misaki?"

"Oh what, you mean my freedom? My right to not have people groping me left and right every two seconds?" The boy stirred a pot full of stew grumpily. "I don't know, Usagi. Go ask your teddy bear."

"Suzuki can't speak…" The author mumbled.

A twinge of guilt hit Misaki in the chest for being so mean, but he didn't let up. He was still so peeved. He had such a hard day at work, it really wasn't his lover's fault for being on his last nerve. He just wished he'd get some peace and quiet while he cooked though… it seemed like making food was his only outlet for pent-up frustration these days.

Dinner was pretty awkward. They both sat in excruciating silence.

"Can you pass the pepper?"

Misaki sighed a bit and handed it to the older.

"Are you okay?" Akihiko Usami was good at reading Misaki, but he couldn't seem to get anything off of him right now. However, it didn't take much thinking to know the bottom line of things: Misaki was _not_ in a good mood.

Misaki nodded slightly. "I'm fine. Just eat your food."

"I'm worried about you though. Something's clearly not-"

He was interrupted by the sound of Misaki's chair screeching against the hardwood floor. The brunette stood up from his seat and started walking toward his room. "Do you mind cleaning the dishes tonight?"

"...No, I don't mind."

"Thanks. I'm turning in early then. Good night." Misaki's angry feet pounded against every step of the stairs, until Usagi heard his door shut with a bang.

It worried the man to no end, but it didn't seem to be a situation that was safe to confront. At least, not yet.

The next morning's meal was just as awkward as the previous night's. In fact, Usagi didn't even ask Misaki to pass anything across the table. He just got it himself. Soon after, Misaki got up, asked his landlord to wash the dishes again, and left for work.

But when Misaki returned home from work, the author wasn't there. Often times around this hour, he would see his lover sitting on the couch. From that point, he'd get up and do one of two things: take Misaki's jacket for him and ask about his day, or hug him and begin to talk about his own. Neither of the two happened.

Two things presented themselves instead, in the form of emotions. Curiosity was the first to strike Misaki Takahashi, and the second, false relief. He forced a fake scoff, attempting to convince himself that he didn't care. "I'm glad that annoying Usagi-San's not here… he'd just bother me like usual."

Work had been tough again and all he was looking forward to was a nice long nap before it was time to prepare dinner. On the way to his room, the boy peered into Usagi's office, but found nothing. The computer was turned off, and a mess of papers was carelessly strung across the surface of the desk as usual.

The boy didn't think too much deeper into it. He still wondered where the older could be, but knew he'd be back by dinner. If not, he'd call or text.

No big deal, of course. It was just Usagi-San.

... _Misaki's_ Usagi-San.

He fell into bed and buried his face in his pillow, just in time before that nasty little twinge of guilt could grow into some sort of monster. Soon, it would be desperately clawing its way out of the boy's chest. "I should've apologized this morning."

The words fell out onto the pillow case and presented themselves in front of him.

" _Yes, you should have,"_ they said.

-XXX-

When he woke up to a continuous beeping, Misaki's eyes shot open in horror. He sat up and slammed his hand down over the clock's alarm button to silence it.

Six-thirty AM.

"I slept through… to tomorrow?! What about dinner? Maybe Usagi thought I needed the sleep…" He sighed, feeling like he'd wasted his yesterday, and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

The boy sauntered through the upstairs hallway slowly. He was preparing his apology speech for Usagi. Once he deemed it perfect (or at least, perfect enough) he took his stride a few paces faster and made his way to the kitchen.

But the esteemed author, Akihiko Usami, wasn't there.

Emerald-colored eyes widened slightly in confusion. He felt his worry ensue and his heart kick into overdrive.

He ran up the stairs and checked the office again, but it was still empty. The dark room was exactly the same as the night before, with every piece of clutter still neatly untouched.

"Oh! I know," Misaki muttered to himself, desperate relief quenching his nerves. "He must've forgotten to call and say he was coming home late last night, and then had a meeting at Marukawa with Aikawa, and Isaka, and whoever else, this morning… something like that."

With so many possible solutions, it had to be at least _one_ of them.

Misaki threw on his jacket and slung his messenger bag over his shoulder before leaving for work, hoping to God that he'd see his lover there. He was out the door as fast as possible, not stopping to eat breakfast, or even to shower.

He needed to know where Usagi was, and he needed to know _now._

The boy stepped off the elevator and walked into the room filled with rows upon rows of cubicles. There, the editors of Marukawa were working.

"Oh! Misaki."

The brunette heard Aikawa's voice and turned around. Perhaps she'd be with Usagi-

She wasn't.

"Good timing. Do you know where Usami is today? He won't answer his phone and I've already called him at least four times."

A cold sweat threatened to break through Misaki's skin. "...I haven't seen him since yesterday morning, actually. He's not with you? Are you sure he's not here for something? Like a meeting?"

She shook her head. "I've been around the whole literature department today. I think I'd have seen him at least once, and Isaka doesn't know where he is either."

Misaki could feel the relief drain his body to make way for a new wave of nervousness. At the same time, the guilt crawled up into his neck and sank its teeth into his windpipe.

All the boy was able to do on the outside was shake his head slightly and mutter, "...then I don't know."


	2. Chapter 2

He could hear Aikawa worrying, but didn't register her words. Misaki turned away slightly and looked down at the ground, wondering if this had been his fault.

After all, he had been so mean to the author… what if Usagi was doing this on purpose? Just to scare him?

He zoned back into the conversation just in time to hear Aikawa say, "...well we need to find out where he is. Could he be with a friend? Do you know any of his friends?"

Misaki nodded. "My brother and him are best friends. I could call him, but he lives all the way in Osaka."

She shrugged her shoulders. "You should call anyway. He'd wanna know if Usami was missing, either way."

The boy nodded again and got out his cell phone before walking into the hallway. "I'll be right back," he said over his shoulder to Aikawa. When he was in the hallway, he quickly dialled the number and Takahiro picked up on the second ring.

"Hey Misaki! How're you?" Takahiro asked.

"H-hi, Brother…" Misaki answered solemnly.

He heard the happiness fall from Takahiro's face. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"

Misaki nodded, knowing the other couldn't see him. "W-we can't find Usagi… he's been missing for over a day now. I haven't seen him since yesterday morning."

"What?! Where did you last see him?! Did he mention he was going anywhere?!" When the older brother's voice picked up, Misaki could hear Mahiro beginning to cry in the background.

He felt like his life was in a downward spiral, and all because that damn Usagi wasn't here.

Misaki stared at his left hand, hanging limply at his side. "Well, in his kitchen, during breakfast. But then I left and I haven't seen him since… he didn't mention going anywhere. It was like he just…" The boy shook his head slightly, stretching out his free hand and then balling it into a weak fist. He remembered the odd sensation of not being greeted when he got home… he didn't want to have to go through that again after work. "...Stopped existing…" The boy's voice cracked. "Brother… I-I don't know what to do now…" He choked.

Takahiro took on a determined tone. "Don't worry, Misaki, I'm catching the next flight to Tokyo as soon as possible. I'll help you look."

"N-no, you don't have to inconvenience yourself l-like that…" Misaki protested, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill from his eyes.

"The only inconvenience would be if I couldn't help find my best friend," the older replied. "Don't worry, Misaki. He's not gone forever. I wonder why he's missing, though… what happened?! Where is he?! Is he trying to run away from something…?"

Misaki held his breath so that his chest would stop moving with every silent sob that he couldn't hold in.

 _Maybe it's my fault?_

 _Maybe he was trying to escape me?_

Admittedly, Misaki had been pretty rude lately. Maybe Usagi had simply had enough of him…? It sounded ridiculous, but given the circumstances… it really wasn't impossible.

Misaki couldn't hold it back and a sob broke through his lips. "...Maybe it's me."

Takahiro was in so much disbelief to hear that, that his younger brother heard him scoff from the other line. "Misaki, don't say such untrue-"

"But it makes sense! I've been… I've been horrible to him lately… I drove him off, I know it."

"You have? Why? Did something happen with you two?"

Misaki shook his head, knowing the other couldn't see. "...That's the worst part… he did _nothing_ wrong… I just… I just… I give him so much shit all the time and… a-and…!" Misaki covered his mouth, but it was too late. The sob had escaped.

"Misaki…?" Takahiro's voice lessened into a delicate whisper. "It'll be okay. It's not your fault."

"How do you know f-for-"

"Because when Usagi talks about you on the phone, I can tell he really cares. You guys must be really close. Heck, you may even be better friends than him and me now!" He chuckled dryly. "...But, really, I couldn't imagine you're the reason for him doing anything bad."

Misaki trembled and sighed, trying to catch his breath. The rapid convulsing of his chest was knocking all the breath out of his lungs with every shake. He didn't know what else to say. He just continued to hold back the whimpers and whines that wouldn't stop coming, but to no avail. "...Thank you…" he managed to mumble, though it only let out another sob.

"Misaki, you sound like a wreck! I'm flying up to Tokyo first thing tomorrow morning. I'll be down soon. Tomorrow's a Saturday, so you don't have work, right?"

"...Y-yeah."

"Okay, good. We can talk this out and I'll aid in the search. Is that okay?"

"...Y-es. Thank you so much, Brother."

"Of course. Don't worry, Misaki. We'll find him."

"..."

"Are you gonna be okay?"

"...Yeah, I'll be okay."

He could hear Takahiro smiling slightly on the other line. "That's the spirit." Just then, Mahiro's crying got louder. "Hey, I should go. See you tomorrow."

"Bye."

The line went dead and Misaki put the phone back. He suddenly remembered where he was.

Work. Sobbing.

He took some serious deep breaths and quickly wiped his face.

Not fast enough though. Isaka walked by. "Ah, Takahashi! Are you okay?! What happened?"

"Oh, sorry…" Misaki tried to continue wiping his tears. "I-I… it's a… family thing."

"Oh. If you want, you can go home for the day. I'll make sure it passes with the higher-ups." He gave the boy a smirk. "I'm good with that stuff."

Misaki shook his head. "Oh, that's okay. I wouldn't want to-"

"Don't worry about it!" The man waved his hand dismissively. "Seriously, get outta here! And get your stuff straightened out. It's no big deal."

The boy thought about it. It might be more of a burden to be an emotional wreck than to just leave and let everyone have some peace from him and his drama. "...Okay. Thank you so much." He gave the elder a quick bow.

"No problem. Say, that reminds me… have you seen Usami?"

Misaki felt a fresh batch of tears form in his eyes. "...N-no…"

"Okay, well can you give this to him next time you do?" The man handed him a large sealed envelope, probably filled with reference files or manuscripts of some sort.

Misaki nodded slightly. "...Yes."

"Okay, great. Bye!" The man waved and left down the hallway toward some other destination.

Misaki turned and made a mad dash for the elevator. He could barely breathe anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

Takahiro arrived too soon. Misaki wasn't ready.

He didn't want to get out of bed that morning and face reality. It was twelve 'o clock pm when he finally checked the time. It wasn't that he'd slept in - or that he'd slept at all - it was because he was too afraid to walk past Usagi's room, and past his office, and into the kitchen.

And be alone again.

Unfortunately, when the doorbell rang and he realized he hadn't prepared at all for his brother's arrival, he knew he'd have to face it all now.

The boy rose into a sitting position slowly and held his hands over his eyes. They were dark and sunken into his head from the lack of sleep. Dark circles, bags, an impending dullness, you name it. Misaki Takahashi appeared as if he very well could've been lying on a table in the hospital morgue.

The doorbell rang again.

"Shit!" He was snapped out of his brooding to sprint to the door. He opened it, not slowly but not with any sense of enthusiasm, to see Takahiro wearing his best sympathy-smile.

"Hey, Misaki. How do you feel?" It was just a mandatory question. Droning out those kinds of words are just what people do in times of crisis. But the answer was already as clear as the layer of sadness that glassed over Misaki's eyes.

The boy shrugged his shoulders. It had been… how long now since Usagi had gone missing? Too long. Just, too long.

Takahiro stepped inside and pulled his little brother into a tight hug. "Don't you _dare_ give up, Misaki. There's no room for failure in this type of situation, and that attitude is certainly not going to provoke success."

Although the boy knew he was right, he didn't see how he could possible feel anything at all right now. Even if he tried, it would be a fake attitude. It wouldn't be how he really felt. Then again, maybe that was just the sleep deprivation talking.

Takahiro seemed to read his mind. "Did you get any sleep last night?"

Misaki nodded slightly, deciding that he may as well not ruin someone else's attitude with the truth.

The older's eyes instantly showed that he knew his brother was lying, but he seemed to let it slide, walking over to the couch and sitting down. "Let's talk this out. We need to set out a plan of action. Have you called the police yet?"

Misaki's eyes widened with realization. He shook his head. "No… I shouldn't have been so stupid! What if they could've found him if I called it in right away?!"

Takahiro patted the spot on the couch next to him and Misaki reluctantly sat down. "First of all, take a breath. Second of all, they would've told you to calm down and wait for him to come home if you called it in right away. You've done nothing wrong. And third of all, 'what if they could've found him' sounds a lot like you're giving up hope. Which you _cannot_ do. If everyone gave up hope, we wouldn't get anywhere."

Misaki just silently listened. He nodded along. Another thing that Takahiro was right about, but that he wasn't sure he could change.

He was so scared.

Takahiro folded his hands in his lap, and that's when Misaki noticed that there was a white bandage over one of the brother's fingers. His left pointer finger. "What happened to your hand?"

"Oh," Takahiro shrugged. "I slammed it in the car door when I got to the airport this morning. No big deal, really.

It didn't seem too minor of an injury, though. A spot of red blood was seeping through to the outside layer of the white bandage.

"You sure?" Misaki asked. "...It looks kind of bad."

Takahiro shook his head. "Nah. It's okay. Don't worry about me. We have to think about Usagi."

Misaki nodded slowly in agreement. "He… I… I don't even know what to do though."

"Well, for one thing, we need to report him missing to the police. How about that?" His brother picked up his cell phone and started dialling the emergency number.

Misaki nodded again and looked around the room as he listened to the beep of each button under his brother's finger. A picture was sitting on the coffee table of Usagi and Misaki. It was from one particularly hot summer day when Usagi had blown off his work to take Misaki to the beach. The boy remembered the memory exactly as it had played out, down to the joke that he was laughing about. His eyes were closed as Usagi looked down at him happily.

He half-listened to the phone call, half-relived the memory. He had to fight back a fresh wave of tears as the brunette immediately thought one sentence to himself.

' _I may never laugh with him again.'_


End file.
